Staying strong...

Mom,

hey you...just starting a kind of journal for ya so that we can keep family and friends updated and so that, when you snap out of this, you can know what was going on the whole time. You're probably not going to remember too much of it, just because right now its hard for you to remember even 5 minutes ago, but that will get better :) So since we just started this today, I'll give ya a brief recap of the last couple of weeks (might be lengthy!)...

After an MRI of the brain on April 14, 2009, you found out that your breast cancer you were diagnosed with on July 14, 2006, had metasticized to your brain. This was weeks after you had headaches to the point of sickness, and you weren't too happy with the doctors for waiting so long to give you that MRI. The day after you found out, you began 15 incredibly strong radiation treatments to your brain to shrink the tumors as well as were put on Decadron, a steroid to reduce the swelling of the brain. Operating was not an option, as the largest tumor, 4cm, was in an important area of the brain (left frontal area) too risky to operate around. We gradually tapered you off of the Decadron, and on June 1st, after your follow-up MRI May 28th, we finally had some good news! Your largest tumor had shrunk to about half its size and the others seemed to have been taken care of by the radiation.

However, your weakness was gradually worsening, as well as the pain you were having in your tailbone and back of the neck (much of this we thought was from withdrawal from decadron). You still insisted on going to work though! You kept telling everyone you didn't miss a day while battling breast cancer, and you weren't going to miss one now! Even if it were a few hours at a time, you made it to the office. You hated asking people for help, but it was always there for you, as the girls at work went above and beyond to assist you. Sleeping was minimal during the night, often only getting an hour or two of sleep (Dad too). Falling became more common, as you couldn't walk on your own, and even with help your legs would give out on you. We started taking you to physical therapy at OSS to gain some strength back, but soon had to put that to a halt after Monday June 8th, when you really started going downhill. We were at Grandma Chronister's when you had one of your first serious spells of complete confusion and not knowing where you were or who we were. You were then forced to use a wheelchair, and had to be lifted or carried into the car, bed, etc. (Dad's poor back!). The doctors were still unable to give us answers, and the frustration continued...

Wednesday, June 17th, we had our appt. at John's Hopkins in Baltimore, MD to get a 2nd opinion. Although not offering promising news, the doctor was wonderful. She truly cared about you and offered some other circumstances we could be facing and which way to go next. She suggested that because of your extreme weakness, confusion, backpain, and digestive problems, that lesions (basically spots of cancer) had possibly wandered to your spinal fluid and ordered an MRI for the spinal cord and brain immediately the next day, as well as a possible spinal tap.

A few hours after we returned home from the appointment, you had a few of your anxiety/pain attacks (which the doctors now think are seizures themselves), and you experienced a seizure that lasted about ten minutes (nonresponsive and blank stare). We were instructed to call an ambulance, after which we waited over 8 hours in the emergency room before you were admitted, and several more after that before you were put into your room at 5 Thursday morning. We all stayed with ya the whole time though, making sure our mom got the proper care :) .

You're currently still in the hospital, in room 7113 of the North tower in York Hospital, and we are still hoping for some good news. The doctors are all back and forth about what is wrong and why you are experiencing the nervous system problems that you are and inability to respond at times, as well as the extreme weakness. You pulled out about 6 or 7 IV's now, and are constantly trying to pull at your robe and bed sheets. You just won't stay still...but they are attributing this to the seizures. In fact, you were given an MRI yesterday of the spinal cord and brain, but the doctors weren't able to read it due to you moving around the whole time! You were given another today, as well as an EEG to test your brain activity. However, we still have yet to find out any results from either (which we are losing our patience with...getting VERY frustrating to wait on the doctors to take action). Hopefully tomorrow we will receive some news, which we are praying is good news.

Since you've been in the hospital, as well as the past week or two, you've been pretty out of it. From forgetting where you are and losing track of time, to forgetting who we are...we know the true Kathi, or mom, is still in there. In fact, we see it come out pretty often! Like yesterday when the neurologist asked you to hold up two fingers, you proceeded to give her the middle finger. Now everytime a doctor comes in the room to check on ya or do tests, you greet them by mumbling "Now what do you want?" We can't help but laugh! Or when Vickie came into visit tonight and you greeted her with a hello "Vickie Faye," and Aunt Connie with a "now YOU'RE here too?" You sure keep everyone on their toes with fooling around with your IV's and random stories you put together with words you hear. A lot of the time, you think it is one of your kids or Dad that are being treated, and often ask us how our doctor appt or MRI went, and if we are alright. Just goes to show how much you care about us. We think you're starting to get sick of us asking if you know who we are, as we've received the names, the Boppin One (Tyler), Denise or Anthony or "the one that mother won't let go" (Kyle), Pretty Platypus and Dolly (Megan), and a million different ones for Dad. We can't tell if you are being serious or just trying to be funny!

Now that you are all filled in on that stuff (sorry so lengthy, and yet probably STILL missed something)....just wanted to let ya know we're here by your side helping you get through this. Everyone has been SUCH a big help, from a phone call or card or cooking meals for us and offering rides, as well as everyone's prayers, we're greatly appreciative. We know it's probably horrible dealing with everything that is happening inside your body, but we love you more than ever and aren't giving into this, and neither are you. It means the world to see a smile on your face, give us a kiss, an "I love you," or to just put your arms around us. We're pushing through the pain together, and if anyone can beat it, it's you. This is only going to make us stronger you know...as you always told us, "everything happens for a reason," and that, "in the end, it will all work out." We're holding onto that, and believing it. We're closer than ever and staying strong for you, together. God is by your side, and taking care of you and giving us strength, and with that anything is possible.

Stay strong mom, and we'll see ya tomorrow.

Love you.